Fixing forever
by Lostinthoughtantime
Summary: Set thirty years after Rose is left with the new Doctor, John Smith. John Smith is dying and he hasn’t got long to live and before he dies he wants to do something for the woman he loves so she doesn’t spend eternity on her own. PS: bring a hankie
1. reviewing the past

_A/N: Today I'm doing a little revision work. After reading this last night realised some of my grammar is a bit pants! lol...So I'm going over it trying to fix it... not sure if I can its years since I had to write 'proper english'. Grateful for any feedback_

* * *

John Smith sat alone in the park watching people walk by. This was his favourite place; he and Rose often came here just to people watch.

Rose. When the Doctor, his other self, had disappeared leaving him with Rose on Bad wolf bay he had been scared she wouldn't be able to love him as she had the Doctor. They were the same man, he and the doctor, but he had feared Rose wouldn't see it.

Clearly he didn't know everything; she had stuck by him, held him through the nightmares, found him a job at Torchwood and she had given him a room at her flat. Over time he'd moved into her room and they got engaged. When it turned out he could never give her children she hadn't held it against him– their love had been enough, they had a lifetime together.

Their wedding, held at Bad Wolf Bay, would forever stay in his mind; she had been beautiful gliding towards him in white, eyes bright with love. Rose had shown him a better life; they would always have eachother. He sighed and caressed the wedding band on his finger; they'd planned to grow old together.

Rose hadn't aged a day; at the age of 55 she looked now just as she did at 24. She stayed with him despite the obvious diferences in age, pushing aside any doubts he may have had with words of love, promising him forever. John sighed, forever for her would be a long time. Somehow he, and the doctor, had not recognized that Rose, just like Jack, was a fixed moment in time. Love had clouded his mind, making him miss the obvious. Rose would never die and he hadn't told her.

Over the years he'd managed to push the truth to the back of his mind as he spent his days trying to make Rose happy and they were happy, very happy. Last week they'd brought a cottage by the sea planning to live out the rest of their days together just the two of them out of the publics gaze. John sighed and put his head in his hands, he'd been to the doctors this morning and received the news that no one ever wanted to hear; he was dying and he wasn't sure he had the courage to tell her.


	2. Dinner with rose

_A/N: Revision 2 - just correcting a few grammer errors etc._

John slowly opened the front door and made his way into the kitchen. Rose was cooking dinner whilst talking to her mother over the speaker phone. John stood watching Rose from the doorway as she danced around the kitchen.

Once they had come to terms with Bad Wolf Bay and had realized there was no way back he had insisted on taking cooking lessons. He'd never had to cook for anyone before as the Tardis had always dealt with the food side of things, and Rose couldn't cook either, so he thought it time he learnt. Rose and John were inseparable so she'd insisted on tagging along. He hadn't learnt anything from the course, still couldn't cook but Rose had taken to it like a duck to water. Her cooking was fantastic, even her mum was surprised at how good she was when on one occasion she came over for dinner.

His Rose, he watched in fascination as she threw back her head and laughed at something her mother said, he was never bored watching her. Rose turned and caught him staring and gave him a warm smile, "Mum I'm going to have to go, but I'll catch up with you later" she motioned for him to enter the room, "Yeah mum I love you too, yes I'll remember that, give my love to Pete"

Rose sighed as she ended the phone call. "Thought she'd never stop" and she raised her eyebrows before walking over to him. "How is my husband today, you been behaving I hope?" and she winked as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I always behave, you know me on my best behavior always"

John took her lips in his and slowly kissed her as if it was the last time he ever would.

"Hey you" Rose sighed as their lips parted, "What was that for?"

"I just wanted to show you how much I missed you today"

Rose smiled, "It's only been six hours"

"Six hours too long" he reached down and picked her up and made his way towards the bedroom.

"But dinner.."

"Can burn for all I care, I'm not hungry for food" and he gave her suggestive leer.

"John Smith, I'll have you know I worked hard cooking that dinner"

"I'll buy in a take away"

"You wicked man"

"and what does that make you?"

"A wicked man's woman"

John smiled into her eyes as he lowered her onto the bed, before kissing her once more.

* * *

Later he lay watching Rose sleeping against his chest, a warm smile on her face. He really should have told her, should have prepared her for when he passed away but he couldn't do it to her, not that night, he wanted one perfect night, before they had to face the truth.

John sighed before noticing the smoke coming from the kitchen. "Damn!" he muttered, carefully getting up trying not to wake her.

"That will be the Dinner" Rose sleepily muttered. John rushed into the kitchen and quickly turned the oven off. "Is it well done?" he heard Rose shout from their room.

"Extremely well done!" he shouted staring at the burnt remains.

"Do you want me to come sort it out?" asked Rose groggily from the doorway looking adorable in her dressing gown. John ushered her out the room, "You get some sleep, I'll sort it"

Rose placed a kiss on his cheek, "Okay love, but hurry, you know I can't sleep without you" and she walked away from him back to their bed.

John walked into the kitchen and stood over the sink watching as his tears hit the bowl below.


	3. Meeting Jake

_A/N: Bodged up slightly forgot that Mickey stayed in the real world, thank you to Gaiafreedom21 for letting me know... have adjusted story to compensate sorry!! __Revised 15th July – grammar errors corrected_

* * *

Days past, and still he hadn't told her. Every day he rehearsed the words but every time he looked into her eyes he couldn't do it. Gradually he started spending more and more time away from her. Rose noticed how distant he was and approached an old friend for help.

* * *

Rose waited outside one of the more prestigious offices in Torchwood as a secretary spoke to someone on the phone. As the secretary replaced the receiver the door opened and Jake came out to greet her. "Rose, how are you?" and he took her into his arms, "Why didn't you tell me you were popping in, we could have gone out for lunch?"

He led her into his office and motioned for her take a seat. Rose stared at the luxurious office, "Wow, you've done well for yourself"

Jake smiled, "Well it took a lot of hard work, a lot of saving the world and stuff, if you'd stayed in Torchwood this could have been your office"

Rose gave Jake a weak smile, "I don't regret giving up my job, it allowed me to more time to spend with John"

"I saw John the other day working on some project down in the labs he told me you were well"

Rose sighed, "When you saw him was he ok, he didn't seem somewhat distracted at all?"

"He's always distracted, always focused on some project he's got going down in the lab"

Rose leaned over the desk, "He didn't seem more distracted than usual?"

Jake shook his head and took Rose's hands in his and stared into her eyes, "Is everything okay between the two of you?"

Rose shrugged as she felt tears run down her cheeks, "It just feels like he's hiding something from me and I can't for the life of me figure out why"

"Maybe you're just imagining it"

Rose shook her emphatically, "I know somethings wrong I just feel it. He's never held back from me before; we share everything"

Jack approached Rose and pulled her into his arms, "Hey love it's probably nothing, but if you like I'll pop down and him later and have a word"

"You will?"

"Of course, anything for my favorite couple"

"Oh thank you!" and Rose threw her arms around him, "I really appreciate this Jake.

"Don't mention it I got a soft spot for John, but don't you tell him that!"

Rose kissed his cheek as she made her way to the door, "I wouldn't dream of it"


	4. John and Jake talk

_A/N: This story is making me really sad, I so want to give someone a hug so HUGS to everyone reading this, really should have invested in some tissues. Just to let you know i had to adjust the story due to a little slip up i made - forgot Mickey stayed in real world... shows you how upset Journeys end left me... memory refuses to remember such trauma - ok babbling on must stop __– 15__th__ July revision 3: fixed grammar_

John sat in the lab staring into space. Normally working in the lab made him happy but today he didn't have the heart for it.

Jake walked into the lab and made his way over to John. "John"

John looked over at Jake and gave him a weak smile, "Jake"

Jake took a seat opposite John noticing how withdrawn he was, which considering his usual energy was extremely worrying, "I came to see how you're doing"

"Everything's up to date, no outstanding projects…"

Jake sat back, "I didn't come to talk about work, I'm well aware that works fine I don't have to worry about that with you here" Jake paused, "No I came to see if you are okay?"

"Rose…"

Jake shrugged, "She's worried about you"

John shook his head.

"What is it?" asked Jake urgently.

"I'm going to break her heart"

Jake shook his head, "You couldn't do that I've seen the two of you, absolutely perfect for one another. Mickey saw it, said he knew it the minute she ran into your arms outside the Tardis"

John picked up a pen and made a scribble on paper, "If I was still that man I wouldn't be facing this problem for another hundred years or so"

"What problem, you're not making sense?"

John looked into Jakes eyes, "I'm dying Jake, I'm dying and there is nothing I can do about it, I can't cheat it like I have before and this once I really wish I could"

"John…"

"I don't want to leave Rose on her own, don't like to think of her facing eternity heartbroken"

Jake sat feeling hopeless as John started to cry, "John is there nothing the Doctors can do?"

John shook his head in misery, "I've spoke to several doctors, consulted the best minds on Earth and there is no cure"

"Rose, she doesn't know?"

John shook his head, "How can I tell her, she loves me so much it will destroy her"

"John, she's stronger than you think; we'll tell her together"

John sighed, "There's more"

"More?"

John nodded, "I should have told her long ago, but it never seemed important"

"What?"

"Surely you noticed how she doesn't age?"

Jake shrugged, "I put it down to all that time she spent in the Tardis, I figure the timelessness rubbed off on her"

John gave a half hearted grin, "That's what she thinks"

"What is it?"

"She can't die Jake, she's a fixed point in time"

Jake shook his head, "That's not possible"

John sighed, "She's going to live forever without me and I can't stand the thought of her being alone"

Jake went over to John and awkwardly patted John's back.

"What do I do Jake?" and Jake couldn't answer he didn't know what to say.

* * *


	5. Jackie on the warpath

John stayed late at the lab that night, thoughts preoccupied on only one woman. Jake sat in the corner trying to come to terms with everything. "John, maybe you should go home"

John shook his head, "I need to plan for what will happen when I'm gone, I can't think while Rose is around, it just makes it harder"

The door opened and in walked Jackie, fire in her eyes, as she stomped over to him.

"What is wrong with you now? My daughter has been at my house today in a right state and I want to know what is going on"

John didn't look up, he just shrugged.

Jackie sighed, "Is it another woman?"

John stood up and glared at her, "FOR GODSAKE JACKIE! You should know by now how much I love her, I'd never look at another woman in that way "

"Well then, what have you done then she's convinced your hiding something from her"

"Jackie.." warned Jake coming to stand beside John, "Leave it…"

Jackie stared at the two of them together, "You and him…"

"NO!" John shouted suddenly losing his temper.

Jackie stepped back for once quiet.

"Believe me Jackie, I love Rose, love her more than you could ever imagine and I would NEVER knowingly hurt her"

Suddenly John wished he had the Tardis with him, somewhere he could run and hide from this mad woman. He almost grinned as he remembered all the times he'd hidden in the Tardis from her before. He sighed wondering for the first time in a long while how his other self was doing. He couldn't imagine a life without Rose and wondered how his other self coped living without her, just as Rose was going to have to cope without him.

"John?" suddenly he looked up and there was Rose standing at the door.

He looked up into Rose's tear stained face and walked towards her, "I'm so sorry love"

Rose sighed and placed her head against his shoulder, "You had me worried, I thought maybe something had happened to you"

"I'm right here, I just had some stuff to finish up"

Rose noticed her mother, "Mum, what are you doing here? I thought you were visiting Kate"

Rose's mum shrugged, "Thought I'd pop in to see your husband on the way back home, but now you're here I'll be going"

"Mum!" Rose watched as her mum left the building. Rose turned to her husband, "I hope she didn't give you the third degree"

"No more than usual"

Jake walked over to them staring at John, "Unless you want me to stay, I'll be heading off home"

John nodded, "I'll see you tomorrow"

Jake smiled at them and left the room.

"So…" said Rose looking into her husband's troubled eyes, "You're going to tell me what's going on then?"

John pulled her face to his and gently kissed her, "I love you Rose Tyler Smith, never doubt that"

Rose took her hand and placed it against his heart, "I know, I love you, always will till death and beyond"

John flinched and stepped back,

"Hey" Rose said stepping towards him, "What's wrong?"

John sighed trying to formulate the words that were tearing him apart, "I just worry about you being alone when I'm dead and gone…"

Rose shook her head smiling, "Don't be silly, we got years ahead of us yet, and who's to say I won't die first" she raised an eyebrow, "then who will protect you from my mother"

Rose gave him a hug, "So now we got that sorted let's go home"

At least he'd tried.


	6. Finding solutions in the past

_A/N: Had to borrow huge from Journeys end, but it is important to the story, John remembering stuff, it made sense at the time... ANYWAYS as I said in another story Doctor who doesnt belong to me, though i wish it did I'm sure I could find lots of things to do with David Tennant...yummy__- Revised 15__th__ July Grammar fix_

* * *

_T__hey stood on the beach together; the Doctor, Rose, Donna and John. Rose turned to the Doctor as she realized where she was, "Hold on, this is the parallel universe, right?"_

"_You're back home." said the Doctor emotionless._

_Donna gestured to the sky, __"And the walls of the world are closing again... now that the Reality Bomb never happened. It's dimension retroclosure. See, I really get that stuff now. " _

"_No, but I spent all that time trying to find you, I'm not going back now!" Rose cried all of a sudden bewildered._

_The Doctor stepped towards her "But you've got to. Because we saved the universe, but at a cost. And the cost is him." And the Doctor pointed to John, "He destroyed the Daleks. He committed genocide. He's too dangerous to be left on his own."_

_John glared at him "You made me!"_

"_Exactly, you were born in battle - full of blood and anger and revenge." And the Doctor turned to Rose, "Remind you of someone? That's me. When we first met," Rose looks at him with tears in her eyes, "And you made me better. And now you can do the same for him."_

"_But he's not you."_

"_He needs you. That's very me"._

_Donna looked at Rose with a smile, "But it's better than that, though. Don't you see what he's trying to give you?" she turned to John, "Tell her, go on."_

_Rose turns to face John,_

_I look like him and I think like him... same memories, same thoughts, same everything. Except, I've only got one heart."_

"_Which means?"_

"_I'm part Human. Specifically the aging part. I'll grow old and never regenerate. I've only got one life... Rose Tyler" he paused and stared into her eyes, "I could spend it with you. If you want."_

"_You'll grow, grow old at the same time as me? "_

"_Together."_

* * *

John stared at Rose asleep beside him, remembering that day so long ago. He'd said they'd grow old together and yet here she was still looking the same as she did that day. He'd let her down. He sighed and reached out a hand to move a strand of hair away from her face. If he'd known then what he knew now…but John couldn't regret a minute they'd spent together, couldn't take one moment back. He smiled as she turned to him in her sleep. All he wanted was for her to be happy, he wouldn't mind the dying so much if he knew she wouldn't be alone. He knew what it was like to watch people he cared about grow old and die before him while he lived on, he'd seen a lot of that in his 900 years and he didn't want that for Rose.

John lay there wondering what he could do. Suddenly it came to him, there was something he could do for her and at the same time he'd be doing it for him as well. Carefully he got out of bed.

"Where you going?" Rose said in her sleep

"Just going to work love"

"But its too early"

John bent over and placed a kiss against her cheek, "I promised Jake I'd go in early"

Rose opened one eye and looked at the clock, "But its only 6am"

"I know love, but it won't wait, it has to be completed before a certain time"

Rose nodded, "Well okay, but you hurry home, no staying after hours tell Jake you got a wife to look after"

John smiled, "I'll see you later"

"mmm"


	7. Bad Wolf

John at in front of the computer in his lab He glanced around the office to make sure no one was watching before he slipped a disk into the disk drive. He watched as the program got him access to the Macleish network.

Not many people in Torchwood knew about the Macleish network, it was top secret it carried the details of every alien device ever found and the names of people with access to nuclear weapons. It was a highly guarded secret but as he was brilliant and a bit of a techno expert he'd accidentally stumbled across it when he was exploring the computer systems. At the time he'd ignored it, but now if he was right he'd find the one thing that could help him with his plan.

The only problem was he didn't actually know what it was he was looking for, he knew it existed he just didn't know what it was called. He tapped his fingers lightly on the desk trying to imagine its name. When Rose had tried to get back to him at the game station she'd scattered words through time and space to guide her back to him. Bad wolf, even in the parallel universe they'd come across it at Dårlig ulv stranden – Bad wolf bay. He sat there and typed the words in the box out of curiosity, he thought it would come back with nothing but he watched in shock as suddenly a file opened on the screen, the very file he was looking for.

John took out his glasses to focus on the screen and started taking notes.

"John," John quickly turned off the monitor and covered his notes as Jake walked in, "Did you manage to talk to Rose last night?"

John shook his head, "Not yet, I thought I'd wait a bit, no need to worry her as yet"

Jake gave him a look, "But yesterday…"

"You saw how she was yesterday, I don't want to upset her I'm just going to focus on giving her as many happy memories as I can in the hope that that will be enough, and who knows maybe I'll find a way I can be with her forever"

"Yesterday you were so upset, yet today.."

"I'm not afraid to die, I just want to be sure she's happy and that's what I'm working on right now"

"Oh" said Jake unsure, "Well if you need any help…"

"I'll be fine…"

"If you want any time off you just take it, I'll understand"

John smiled, "Well I was thinking of taking Rose away for a few days…"

"Go whenever you like, I'm sure I can find someone to fill in for you"

"Thanks Jake"

As Jake left the office John picked up the phone, "Pete, its John I wonder if we can meet up this morning… No I'd prefer if we talk away from your house… No I can handle Jackie I just need a word in private.. Okay I'll meet you there in half an hour"


	8. Sensitive informaton

John sat in a café, not far from Torchwood, watching people rushing by. He stood up as Pete arrived out of breath and flustered, "Sorry I'm late Jack's wanted me to drop her off in town"

"It's okay I've not been here long, what drink can I get you? I'm paying" and John gestured to a passing waiter

"Oh I'll have a Tea"

"Make that two Tea's thanks" the waiter nodded and walked away to get their drinks.

"So John, how are you these days, still working hard at Torchwood?"

"Works fine"

Pete nodded thoughtfully, "Anything bothering you at all, anything you want to get off your chest?"

John sighed, "Let me guess Jackie asked you to ask"

"She's worried about you, it may be a shock but you'll find Jackie does actually care about you, as do I. You're like a son to us" Pete leaned across the table, "We're here to help"

John took a deep breath "There is something you can help me with"

"Anything" sad Pete lifting his cup to his lips

"The Bad Wolf hanger in Norway can you get me access?"

Pete spat the tea from his mouth, "What did you say?"

"I need to get into the Bad Wolf hanger"

Pete nervously glanced about before leaning over to John and whispering, "How'd you know about that, that's supposed to be top secret?"

John raised an eyebrow, "You know me"

Pete shook his head, "What do you hope to achieve by getting inside that hanger?"

"It's for Rose"

Pete shook his head, "What, you want to take her on a trip for old times sake? Its not a pleasure cruiser. Besides even if I do get you get you in the hanger you'll never get it to fly we've had our best engineers working full time on it and they've all drawn a blank"

"Yeah well your engineers aren't me I have over 900 years of space and time travel under my belt so I'm pretty sure I can get it off the ground"

"So are you going to tell me why you need it?"

John took a sip of his tea and stared at the people walking past, "I'm doing it for Rose…"

Pete shook his head, "Supposing I could get you the codes, supposing they actually exist, you'd need to tell me a lot more than you are now." Pete glanced around nervously and leant towards John, "this is extremely sensitive information and I'm liable to lose a lot more than my job if higher authorities ever found out I told you"

"I'm dying Pete," and John quickly motioned for Pete to let him continue, "Its okay, I've accepted it, I just wish I had more time with Rose"

"Does she know?"

John sighed, "I tried telling her but every time I start talking about death she refuses to acknowledge that I may die before her. In the past thirty years Rose has made me the centre of her world, she gave up her job to look after me and she doesn't really have any body else we've only ever needed each other. Now I realize I should have insisted she stay at work and do something for herself but I never considered this would happen"

Pete nodded, "You two are very close,"

John smiled, "I love her and she loves me and we've been so happy together. I need to make sure Rose is okay when I'm gone,"

"You know me and Jackie will be there for her when the time comes"

John shook his head, "You won't be here forever"

Pete smiled, "None of us are"

John paled, "Rose will, she's a fixed point in time, she's going to live forever,"

"You can't be serous"

"I'm afraid its true, she took the time vortex into her body and no one's supposed to do that," Pete looked at John puzzled, "It's a long story. The Dalek's were about to invade Earth in the year 200,100 and I figured I wasn't going to survive so I sent Rose back home to her own time" John smiled, "but Rose being Rose found a way back. She opened the heart of the Tardis and took the time vortex into her body and used it to wipe out the Dalek's and bring Jack back from death. Jack now can never die, he'll live on forever but I never realized that Rose would also be affected. I totally missed the signs. Rose will never age, she'll live forever and forever's a long time to be alone. I'm over 900 years old and I've watched people I loved grow old and die before me which is why I, well I mean he, left Rose with me; because he couldn't face seeing her die before him"

"She's never going to die?"

John shook his head, "She has eternity ahead of her..."

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes if Jackie ever found out" Pete gave John a weak smile, "So, this thing in Bad wolf hanger…"

"I'm going to do the only thing I can for Rose, I'm going to send her back to me"


	9. Facing the future

_A/N: I love this story , almost as much as I loved rebirth - only thing us I keep crying and I've run out of hankies... anyone got a spare?_

John held Rose in his arms as they sat on the beach at Bad wolf bay.

"I'm glad you brought me here" sighed Rose leaning into him.

John placed a kiss in Rose's hair, "I'm glad we're here too"

"We found each other here all those years ago, shared our first real kiss" she smiled, "I'll never forget the words you said to me…"

"The words he never said…"

Rose turned to John, "But that was him he would never have said the words"

"But he felt them…"

"Well, it no longer matters" and Rose plastered a big smile on her face, "I got you"

John lifted Rose's face to his, "He loved you, just as I love you"

Rose felt a tear fall down her cheek, "Why are you suddenly bringing him up, he's far away and you're here and you are all that matters to me" and she reached out and kissed him. John held her to him and buried his head against her shoulder.

"John, honey" and she lifted his face to hers, "What's wrong?"

"I just worry about what you'll do when I die"

Rose kissed his cheek and ruffled his hair, "It's not important, we have years ahead of us yet. When we die we'll die together, hand in hand in our sleep and they won't be able to separate us so they'll bury us together. Always together"

John stroked her hair, "I just love you so much, I can't bare the thought of you being alone"

"John lets not worry about the future it's far away, all that matters is now"

John took Roses hand in his and pointed to her wedding band, "Do you remember the vows I made to you on our wedding day?"

"You promised to love me forever"

"and I intend to keep that promise Rose Tyler Smith" and he kissed her hair, "I promised you forever and that's just what I intend to give you, even if it takes my last breath"


	10. Surprise

Rose sighed holding on to her seat, "I wish we'd got a taxi"

"What's wrong with my driving?" and he flashed her a grin

"Will you keep your eyes on the road!"

John quickly turned the wheel, narrowly missing the kerb, "Sorry"

Rose sighed. Back at home they didn't own a car, everything was within walking distance which suited Rose fine. John's driving was erratic, he never could grasp that there was a speed limit and that the car wasn't going to drive itself. Unfortunately as Rose had never bothered to take her driving test John had to be the one driving the hire car. Rose sighed as John enthusiastically praised the Norwegian roads, wincing as every so often he swerved out of a hazards way.

"Please say we're nearly there" cried Rose as she shut her eyes, unable to watch anymore,

"Almost, just another couple of miles"

"Where are we going anyway, you never told me?"

John gave her a smile, "It's a surprise"

"Every day is a surprise with you,"

John laughed and indicated to turn left, "and you love it"

"Oh I do, but I'll love it even better once the cars stopped"

"Are you hinting that I'm a bad driver?"

"No I'm stating firmly that you _are_ the worst driver ever"

Rose watched as they approached a security gate, she looked at John and he motioned for her to say nothing. John wound down the window as a guard with a gun approached the gun, "Hi, I'm John Tyler Smith, you should have been informed of my arrival" and John handed a letter to the guard.

The guard checked the document and leaned into the car and stared at Rose, "and you are…"

Rose looked at John and he nodded, "Rose Tyler Smith"

The guard nodded, "I worked with your father last year, he's a good man" and he stood up motioning to someone to open the gate, "Go on through, someone will be waiting for you at the entrance"

John nodded and drove on.

"John, is there anything I should know?"

John shook his head, "No questions wait and see"

Rose shook her head, he was impossible.

John parked the car in front of a big aircraft hanger and motioned for Rose to get out. A young Asian woman approached wearing a lab coat holding a clipboard in her hands, "Dr Smith?"

John nodded and shook her hand, "Dr Toshiko Owen I presume, Id like you to meet my assistant, and my wife Rose, she's here to assist me"

Toshiko nodded in greeting before turning to John, "We didn't find out about your visit until yesterday but we managed to get everything ready"

John nodded and he and Rose followed Toshiko into the hanger. Toshiko waved a badge at a security guard and they were let through.

"Have you seen it before?" asked Toshiko as they walked down a corridor.

"Nope, but I've seen the reports. I believe it was found just south of the Bermuda triangle"

"Over thirty years ago, just appeared out of nowhere"

"Has anyone found a way to open it yet?"

Toshiko shook her head, "The world's greatest scientists have walked through these corridors, each thinking they will get it open and each one failing. People are beginning to wonder if it's supposed to be opened. The agency stopped funding the project a few years ago so now we run on a skeleton staff, most of us being volunteers"

Toshiko stopped in front of a door and swiped a keycard along a card reader, "Right here we are then" and she opened the door, "Bad wolf "

Rose stared at John in surprise whilst he grinned, "FANTASTIC!"


	11. Space ship

Bad wolf turned out to be a large craft hovering a meter off the ground anchored down with wires.

"Fantastic" John walked towards the ship as Rose watched slightly bewildered. Toshiko smiled, "It's quite something isn't it, the first UFO we've actually got our hands on"

"What about Roswell?" asked Rose and John chuckled

"Roswell was a myth it never happened, just the media stirring things" Toshiko stared at her watch, "I've got a lunch appointment with my husband so I'm going to pop out, but if you need anything just ask one of the guards"

John and Rose waved her goodbye and as Toshiko left the room she turned to John, "Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

John grinned hopping from one leg to the other in excitement, "Can't you see what it is Rose?!"

Rose sighed and stared at the ship, "Looks like a space ship to me," she shook her head, "what I don't understand is why we are here and why is it called Bad Wolf?"

John took Rose's hands in his and stared into her eyes, "I thought we could go on a little adventure"

Rose stepped back bemused, "You're telling me you want us to go up in that thing," and she pointed to the ship, "and that the people who own this base are going to simply stand back and let you do it?"

John shrugged, "Pretty much"

Rose started to laugh, "You're mad you are, absolutely bonkers" she stepped back and gazed at him in wonder, "You haven't been at the skittles again? You _know_ what skittles do to you, they make you hyper like a Duracell bunny"

John shook his head, "No Rose, me and you are going on a trip"

Rose put her hands on her hips and glared at him, "and how are you going to get access to it? You heard Toshiko, in the last thirty years not one scientist has managed to get it to open"

John smiled and took her and walked her over to the ship, "But they are not me, you forget, I'm brilliant Rose, I know that if I reach out and do this," and he reached out and put his hand on an indentation on the edge of the ship, "and if you put your hand there" and he motioned for Rose to do the same at another spot, "and if we both focus our energies on the ship…" Suddenly they were surrounded by a mass of energy, "It will invite us in"

Rose glanced around her as the energy faded and realized she was no longer in the hanger, she was now standing in what looked to be a spaceship similar to the spaceship Jack used in ww2.

John wondered over to the control deck and checked the instrument readings, "We're ready to fly"

"What is this about John?"

"I told you I wanted to give you an adventure"

Rose slapped a hand against her forehead, "But every day is an adventure with you, I don't need to go out into space for that"

John reached out for her and took her hands in his, "But wouldn't it be fun to go out into the unknown once more for old time's sake"

Rose gave him a look but smiled at the excitement burning in his eyes, "Well I suppose it could be fun"

John grinned placed a kiss on Rose's cheek and rushed over to the cockpit.


	12. Take off

Rose stood and watched as John sat checking over controls in the cockpit. He turned and gave her a smile, "Rose, take a seat and buckle up-take off will be a bit bumpy"

Rose smiled, she hadn't seen John like this not since before in the Tardis. Rose, not for the first time, wondered where the Doctor was now, was he happy, did he ever regret leaving her here? Rose tenderly looked at John, John was her world she couldn't imagine him not being in it; she wouldn't change the past. But every so often she thought of the doctor and wondered how it would have been if she'd stayed with him.

"Rose," John placed a hand on Rose's shoulder, "are you okay? I asked you to take a seat" and John guided her to a chair and made sure she was safely buckled in

"I was just thinking"

John placed a kiss on her nose, "What is it you usually tell me? 'Thinking is dangerous.' Now hold tight and watch just how good a driver I really am" John took the seat next to hers.

Rose grinned, "If its anything like your car driving I want out"

John reached out and flicked a switch on the console, "Too late for that" and suddenly the ship started to shake as the engines came online. Rose closed her eyes as she felt the ship try to break free of its restraints, "Hold on Rose!!" cried John as he pulled a lever his eyes animated. With a huge lurch the ship broke the restraints and smashed through the aircraft hanger's ceiling.

"Oh my God!" Cried Rose holding tight to the chair,

"Rasilion we're off!"


	13. Preparing

_A/N: I have a little premonitiion about how this will end and i think i'm gonna have to buy a car load of tissues... sniff..._

* * *

As the ship broke the Earth's atmosphere, John turned to check on Rose, "Are you okay?" and he gave her a grin, "that was fantastic"

Rose sighed, "So you keep saying"

"Didn't think I'd see that again, at least not like this" and John pointed to the view screen and they gazed at the Earth far below, "The one view I could never tire of" John reached out and took Rose's hand in his.

"You've missed this"

John nodded and gave her a smile, "I do, but you know what Rose, if I'd had the choice I'd have chosen you over this any day"

Rose shook her head, "Stop it, you'll make me cry and it took me ages put on my mascara this morning"

"You don't need mascara, you're beautiful without it"

Rose giggled, "I don't know what's gotten into you this week, but whatever it is try not to let go of it"

"I'm just taking time out to appreciate my wife"

"Which includes bringing me out here?"

"Yeah, well," John turned back towards the console checking the readings, "that and for other things"

"John?"

He flashed her another smile, "Right, better set our destination"

Rose shook her head, "Do you know where we're going?"

He gave a cryptic look and started adjusting a dial, "Not where, when"

"This isn't the Tardis we can't travel through time, space maybe, but not time"

John smiled, "I keep telling you Rose how brilliant I am and you still don't believe in me. Nine hundred years you'd think I'd know how to travel in time", John started manically pressing buttons and pulling out wires, "If we can get this ship to travel at a certain speed in the right direction and with a little jiggery pokery on its circuits we can go anywhere"

"John"

He glanced over to her

"I love you"

He chuckled and ran his hand across a wire, "quite right too"


	14. a little sleep

_A/N: just like to say I'm no expert on Time travel theory so... don't hit me with practical stuff- not a practical person me ;-)_

* * *

John sat back in his chair and surveyed his work, "Sometimes Rose I am too brilliant for words"

Rose sighed, "Can you're head get any bigger?"

"Well if we got hold of the right machine maybe, I know of such a machine on the planet Sitra…"

"You know what I mean!" and she giggled, "Besides, you leave your head alone, it's lovely as it is"

"Complete with grey hair"

"Even with no hair it would be perfect. My perfect man"

John raised an eyebrow, "Perfect man, Perfect driver?"

"I wouldn't go that far"

John Pouted and turned to Rose, "I got us here didn't I?"

"Yep, with a great deal of shaking"

"Well what do you expect, the ships been stuck on the ground for the past 30 years, bound to have a few problems"

"Anyway, where are we going and into which era are we going to end up?"

"It's a surprise"

"What about clothes and stuff, we're going to stick out if we turn up in 21st century clothing"

"You won't have to worry about that, we're not going far"

"John I don't mind where we go as long as we get before Torchwood knows the ship is missing"

John took a breath and pasted a smile on his face, "Not a problem, now I'm going to give you an injection"

Rose stared at John her mouth slightly ajar, "What did you say?"

John pointed to a syringe in his hand, "Your body won't be able to cope with the stresses of time travel, the Tardis is designed to protect you from it, but this isn't the Tardis so I need to put you to sleep. You trust me don't you?"

Rose nodded, "with my life" and she held out her arm as she glanced away from the needle, "Just do it quick so I don't notice"

John pushed the needle into her arm and administrated the tranquiliser. As he pulled the needle away Rose turned to look at him, "What about you John?"

He gave her a half grin, "I'm half Timelord, I'll be okay"

"Just make sure you are…" and Rose collapsed into a deep sleep. John took one long look at her before starting the journey which would take them back to over thirty years ago.


	15. Sneaking in

_A/N : Very short chapter...but I felt it had to standalone_

It had worked just like he'd imagined. He unbuckled himself from the chair and went over to Rose. He knelt down on the floor and ran a hand over her cheek. Beautiful even in sleep, and he sighed remembering how often he'd spent gazing over her sleeping figure proud that this woman had chosen him and no other. "Love, if only things were different" and he placed a kiss against her head, "I think we'd better hurry we haven't much time." John gathered Rose's sleeping form into his arms and made his way off the ship.

Bad wolf bay was just as he remembered it. He saw himself and the Doctor exchanging words on the beach with Rose and Donna in the background. He quickly made his way over to the Tardis and entered the ship quietly so no one would notice. He smiled as he felt the ship welcome him, "Hello ol' girl, I need somewhere for us to hide" the Tardis indicated for him to go into the corridor and enter a small room. He chuckled as he noticed he was in Roses room, completely pink. He gently laid Rose out on the bed and came to lie beside her as he pulled her into his arms he drifted off to sleep.


	16. The Doctor

_A/N: Might need those tissues, oh and a few bars of chocolate - I'm all emotional !! I need a hug... If there are any errors that will be because I'm so upset... let me know I'll sort them when my heads a bit clearer_

* * *

John woke up and glanced at Rose asleep in his arms he gave her a soft kiss and got off the bed. He paused at the door taking one more look before seeking out the Doctor.

The Doctor walked slowly round the console and adjusted the controls half-heartedly. Then he stops and leans on the console.

John watched from behind, sensing how sad the Doctor felt. The Doctor turned around as if sensing his presence; he stood up and stared at John, "What are you doing here? I left you in the other world with Rose, you should be with her"

John sighed and approached the Doctor, "and I am, I stayed with her for over 30 years and they were fantastic years. I have so much to thank you before and I never thought I'd get the chance" John walked over to the Doctor and pulled him into his arms, "Thank you"

The Doctor gently withdrew from John's grasp, "You've aged"

John shrugged, "Thirty years have gone past since Bad wolf bay but I don't look bad for a 935 year old" and he grinned

"You travelled from the future?"

John nodded, "Found an old C Class star ship and made a few adjustments, and while you were busy on the beach I crept in here"

The Doctor started to smile, "But that's brilliant!"

John smirked, "I know, that's me I'm brilliant"

The Doctor frowned, "But why, you know I can't take you to back to the other universe the walls are back in place. Rose will be on her own" the Doctor paused and took John's hands in his, "She is okay isn't she?"

John nodded seeing the love he felt for Rose reflected in the eyes of the man standing in front of him, "She's fine, same Rose as you remember"

"Did you two…"

John held out his hand and showed the Doctor his ring, "We married on the beach where you left us," John took out his wallet and showed the Doctor a photo of Rose taken on their wedding day. The Doctor sadly smiled as he held the photo in his hands and ran his finger over Rose's face. "She looks happy"

John smiled staring at the familiar photo, "We both were very happy, happiest day of my life" John sighed.

"So why are you here?"

John took the photo and put it back in his wallet. "We overlooked something that day on the beach, something we should have seen long before because we saw it in someone else" John ran his hand through his hair, "If we'd known about this then you wouldn't have left Rose on Bad Wolf Bay" John took a deep breath and stared at the Doctor, "But I'm glad you did"

The Doctor shook his head, "I don't understand"

John took the Doctors hand, "Understand this, I'm dying and I don't have long to live. Even now as we talk I can feel each of my cells slowly die. This body is only a half life, I realised that the day the Doctors gave me the terrible news"

The Doctor sadly looked at John, "I'm so sorry"

John shook his head, "Don't be, I just need to know Rose will be okay when I'm gone which is why I'm here"

The Doctor took a deep breath and stepped away from John to look at the console, "You know I can't travel to the other universe"

"You don't need to" and John held out his hand and guided the Doctor out of the control room to a familiar room. As he opened the door the Doctor let out a gasp.

John walked over to the bed and placed his hand on Rose's hand, "I had to put her to sleep before we travelled through time, she should sleep for a while longer"

"She hasn't aged a day," said the Doctor as he looked at Rose and suddenly it hit him; Bad wolf, the heart of the Tardis and Jack. Rose was like Jack, "She'll live forever" he wasn't aware he'd spoken aloud until he heard John confirm it

"Forever, and you know how terrible that can be. I don't want Rose to be unhappy, she needs us, she needs you"

The Doctor stepped back, "But she can't she loves you, I saw that in the photo you showed me, she'd never look at me with those eyes; how could she after what I did?"

John shook his head, "You underestimate her, she loves us both. She told you she loved you often enough when you were together" John moved a stray hair from Rose's face, "I've caught her once or twice looking staring up at the stars a soft look on her face and I know she's thinking about you"

John stood up and approached the Doctor, "Do this last thing for me, keep Rose with you and every day show her the love I know you feel for her. Keep her happy and safe and hold her when I'm gone. I want to know she won't be alone"

The Doctor looked over at Rose and nodded, "For the both of you I will. But we've a while yet surely"

John shook his head, "I don't want Rose to watch me die, it's the last thing I want. I was hoping you'd take me to new earth. I have fond memories of that planet I think that's where I want to die"

"You haven't old her"

John shook his head, "She doesn't know anything, not about me dying, nor about her living forever. I just couldn't find a way to tell her"

The Doctor put a hand on John's shoulder, "I'll help you"

John nodded wiping away a stray tear, "yes, well.."

The Doctor made his way to the door, "But for now I'll leave you alone. Tardis will let me know when she wakes up," the Doctor gave a small smile, "She's missed her"

John nodded. The Doctor shut the door as he left the room. John returned to the bed and slid in behind her and let the tears silently fall.


	17. Telling Rose

_A/N: Had to go away and compose myself… way too much emotion…. _

Rose slowly opened her eyes and focused on John. John lay next to her, his hand stroking her hair, tears in his eyes. "John, honey what's wrong?"

John sighed and traced his finger along her lips, "You've no idea how much I love you"

Rose gave him a small smile, "I have an idea"

"All that ever mattered to me was that you were happy, and we have been haven't we? You and I against the world"

Rose nodded tears forming in her eyes, "John…"

John motioned for her to say silent, "In the 30 years I've known you I've been so happy. Every day was a joy and you chased away the nightmares, you Rose Tyler gave me a reason to live. Now I want to give you something, I promised you forever and that's what I will give you"

Suddenly the door opened and Rose looked up, suddenly realising where she was, "Doctor?" he smiled sadly and hovered in the doorway nodding to John

John sighed as Rose turned to him, "What have you done John, why are we here?"

John took Rose's hands in his, "Honey, there's no easy way of saying this" and John sighed, "Love, I'm dying"

Rose shook her head her eyes full of pain, "But you can't"

John gave a little smile and wiped the tears from Rose's face, "I've tried to tell you, so many times before and each time I saw the hurt in your eyes I couldn't do it. But now I haven't much time left and I want to make sure your okay"

Rose threw herself into John's arms, "Please don't leave me John"

John stroked Rose's hair and held her as she cried, "Rosie, honey if I could I'd stay with you forever," and he lifted Rose's head up to face his, "But I can't, he can" and he gestured to the Doctor, "he loves you just as I love you and I know he'll look after you"

The Doctor stared into her eyes, his eyes full of love.

Rose turned to John, "But he's not you"

John smiled, "He needs you, that's very me"

Rose clung to John, "We were going to grow old together, in that little cottage by the sea, remember"

John sighed and sat back to look at Rose, "You're not old, your still 24 years old and you will be for a long time"

"But…"

"Rose, you are going to live forever. Don't ask me to explain, just accept what I am saying. I want you to stay with the Doctor and look after him. I'll die happier knowing that the two people I care about are happy"

"Rose" Rose turned to stare at the Doctor as he perched on the edge of the bed, "I'm here, I know this hurts but I want you to know I'll be here for you no matter what" Rose nodded and turned to John, "How long have you got?"

John sighed, "Not long, long enough for one last journey" John turned to the Doctor, "Have we arrived?"

The Doctor nodded, "New Earth as you requested"

Rose turned to John bewildered, "Why here?"

"It brings back fond memories, you and me on our first journey together after my regeneration. Apple grass, I liked apple grass and I fancy seeing more of the planet thought I'd hire a car" he gave her a grin, "you know I like to drive"

"How long will we be gone?"

John shook his head, "We're not. This is a trip I must do on my own"

"But…"

John shook his head, "Rose, I don't want you to see me die. I want you to remember me walking off into the distance on another crazy adventure with a glint in my eye"

"But…"

"Rose, don't. This is what I want. I want you to stay with the Doctor, and I want you go on and have a brilliant life without me. Do that for me Rose?"

Rose pulled him into her arms, "I'll try"


	18. Parting

_A/N: Ok folks, its here... the end I am seriously crying... awww hugs to everyone... and lots of thanks for the reviews, thats what makes all these tears worthwhiile... love you all... right I'll leave you... got to blow my nose..._

* * *

The Doctor and Rose stood outside the Tardis watching as John loaded a car with a suitcase. John turned to the Doctor, "Thanks for the clothes"

The Doctor gestured to the car, "Good choice, Maraline built I think, should cover some distance"

John smiled, "I like a fast car, faster the better. Rose never let me have a fast car before,"

"With good reason," said Rose walking over to take his hand.

"I'll be careful; you know I'm a good driver"

Rose shook her head with a sad smile. It was taking all her strength not to start crying again, "Just you keep an eye on the road, cars don't drive themselves"

The Doctor shook his head, "Actually now they do, just pop your destination into navigation systems and Allonzy… you're off"

John smiled and turned to Rose and lifted her hands to his lips, "See I'll be perfectly fine"

Rose nodded, unable to speak. John gathered into his arms and kissed her lips and for the longest time they stood there just holding each other. Slowly John withdrew, "I love you Rose Tyler Smith, and don't you forget it"

"I love you too" John watched as a tear slid down her cheek. He took his finger and wiped it from her face, "No tears, I want to remember you smiling, you have such a beautiful smile" and he placed a kiss against her forehead, "Just promise me you'll be happy?"

"For you, always"

He released Rose, took her hand in his, and stepped towards the Doctor gesturing for the Doctor to take his other hand. "Thank you Doctor, thank you for everything. Take care of her for me" and John placed Rose's hand into the Doctor's, "Look after each other"

The Doctor nodded and stared at Rose, "I'll make sure she's okay"

"Thank you," John looked up at the sky, "I do believe its going to rain and you know what the rain's like on this planet I think I'd better get going don't want to catch a cold, nasty things" John turned towards the car and slid into the drivers seat and watched as the Doctor took Rose into his arms. John sighed and he closed the door.

The Doctor stared into Rose's tear stained face "When you stood on Bad Wolf Bay on what you called the worst day of your life, before I faded away I was going to say three words"

"You were?"

The Doctor nodded and brushed a hand over her cheek, "I said Rose Tyler, I love you, and though I never said them I felt them here" and he took her hand and placed it against his chest. Rose looked at the Doctor then stared at John in the car before placing her head against the Doctors chest, "Will he be okay on his own?"

The Doctor shrugged as he caressed Rose's hair. "He's me, he'll be fine"

Rose sighed and turned to watch as her husband drive off into the distance.

The Doctor stroked her cheek, "Come on Rose, let's get indoors before it rains"

And Rose followed him inside the Tardis never looking back.


End file.
